The best days of their life?

As September dawns thousands take the first tentative steps on an education journey that will shape their future. With mounting pressure to find the right school and jump through seemingly endless hoops it's little wonder parents are keen to tick all the boxes from day one. When it comes to 'first-day nerves' we explain what's normal and what's not...

'There's nothing quite like your child's first day at school, that gut-twisting feeling when your four-year-old waves you goodbye and sets off on the road to independence.' (Elizabeth Grahamslaw  A Parents' Guide to Primary School ).

Settling-in

Even if your child has successfully navigated pre-school and enjoyed 'taster days', starting school remains a big step for both parent and child. For most it's a mixture of excitement and trepidation with more questions than answers:

• Will teacher and child like each other?
• Will your child make friends and be invited on play-dates and to parties?
• How will they cope with the work? Will it be too hard, too easy...
• What if they encounter a difficulty, who will help? What if they are upset or lonely?
• Will they volunteer answers to questions?
• Will the teacher pick them for special tasks?
• How will they cope getting changed for PE?
• What about lunch, how will you know if they have had enough to eat?
• How will school communicate with you and what will they communicate?

The list is endless and while it's common to have anxieties, try not to worry too much. Most schools issue guidelines for new parents, keep these to hand, consult as necessary. Try to trust the school, primary school teachers are well-versed in settling children (and their parents) into school-life and making sure they feel comfortable and secure. The first few days can be traumatic but the majority of young children quickly establish and adapt to new routines – as do their parents. If after the first few days, you have questions or concerns that are not addressed do speak to your child's teacher so issues can be ironed out.

What helps?

Being organised: 
Allow plenty of time to get ready and to arrive at school in good time; if you are flustered your child will be too. When possible try to collect your child from school, at least for the first few days; it's a good way to meet other parents and to gauge how your child feels at the end of the day. Don't be surprised if they are tired and tetchy, this is to be expected. Most youngsters perk up after a snack and a drink; a few raisins or a banana for the journey home can work wonders.

Routine:
It might be worth bringing bath and bed-time forward. School days are exhausting and although your child may protest, they (and you) really will benefit from a good-night's sleep. Time honoured traditions of sharing a bedtime story and enjoying a warm drink together, remain our favourite ways to relax and unwind after a hectic day. If your child ...